My ex lets our 8-year-old stay up until 11pm, eat unlimited candy, and play video games all day at their house. At my house, bedtime is 8:30, limited screen time, and healthy meals. Our kid now says they hate coming to my house. I think we need consistent rules but my ex says "my house, my rules."
My house IS more relaxed because I only get weekends. I want our kid to enjoy their time with me. They get structure and routine 5 days a week — having fun on weekends isn't going to ruin them. My ex is too strict and controlling, that's why the kid prefers being here. Maybe take the hint.